I’m generally a very easygoing person, and there aren’t many people I really dislike. I mean, live and let live, right?

Carol tells me many, many times that I’m too nice, and she’s worried that people will take advantage of me. Anyway, whether that’s true or not isn’t the topic of this post.

So yes, about this person this song is about… I’m not going to name any names, of course. Nope, no details whatsoever. I’m not even going to say if this person is a guy or a girl. Suffice it to say that he/she is the “King of the Toadstool”.

What do I mean by that?

Picture an ugly amphibian perched on a toadstool, lording it over the flies that cross the path of its sticky tongue. The flies are the only ones that fear it, and it relishes that power. This toad thinks it’s the king of the world; it takes great pleasure in its glorious position, its mushroom throne.

It doesn’t realise that it is just a toad, and its “kingdom” is just a tiny patch of earth… And the flies? They are scared of everything.

The proverbial frog in the well.

If you read the lyrics below, you’ll get a better idea of how I feel towards this someone. And if he/she eventually stumbles across this post, I couldn’t give a damn, really.

King Of The Toadstool
© Music and Lyrics by Marcel Lee Pereira, 27 Nov 2010

You’re the fat fish in a small pond
Wielding fear like Machiavelli
Telling everybody what to do, ohh…
I don’t have a problem with authority
Go to hell, respect you gotta earn

The fake plastic horns on your head
A million empty threats
Killing every Monday, Wednesday ohh…
Go ahead ‘cos you don’t scare me
From the bottom of your well, you’ll never learn

Chorus
You’re the king of the toadstool
Thinking you rule
But the sky is too high
Above your throne
You’re the king of the toadstool
Prince of the flies
But there’s no way I’d stick around
No I won’t

I’m no bug on your tongue
Got the first ticket out
I’m not getting high-strung
Gonna disappear

So your majesty you
Gotta find someone new
Clean your own dirty shoes
Cos I ain’t here