You know, when you’re attracted to someone and you find yourself doing or saying silly things whenever they’re around? This song is about that infatuation. As an awkward teenager, I remember having crushes on girls, and my mind would just blank out whenever they were near. Man, I did stupid things like talking loudly and hoping that they’d notice, or making a fool out of myself… But I never had the courage to tell them. Haha.
This is a song about leaving. When you walk away from a relationship, sometimes you tell it straight to your partner’s face; sometimes you just leave a note on the dresser. I think the lyrics speak for themselves.
Once you’ve decided enough is enough, and it’s time to go, just go. You might find yourself wondering why you didn’t leave earlier. Yes, you’re still hurting, but you’ve decided not to give any more – not even your tears – and that could be the best decision.
Verse 1
Another battle last night, and I wake up alone
Sunlight streams into the room, but the bed’s cold as stone
I knew at some point, we would hit a wall
Now that day has come, I’m feeling nothing at all
Chorus
By the time you get this note I’ll be gone
No point in looking for me, I’ve turned off my phone
This house was never a home
I gave you the best years of my life, you know
No, I won’t give you my tears, not any more
Verse 2
Honestly, I should have done this long ago
But I held my tongue, went on with the show
Your words were as worthless as water on the floor
I’ve waited for change, but I’m waiting no more
Chorus
By the time you get this note I’ll be gone
No point in looking for me, I’ve turned off my phone
This house was never a home
I gave you the best years of my life, you know
No, I won’t give you my tears, not any more
Bridge
Don’t know where I’m going, don’t know who to blame
I needed you to make me whole, guess I waited in vain
Verse 3
Life flashes by as fast as the trees on the road
A load is taken off my heart, the further I go
But the scars of a thousand cuts will always remain
I’m not giving you the chance to hurt me again
Chorus
By the time you get this note I’ll be gone
No point in looking for me, I’ve turned off my phone
This house was never a home
I gave you the best years of my life, you know
No, I won’t give you my tears, not any more
This is a boy-meets-girl, boy-likes-girl, boy-asks-girl-out song. I was on the train one day, watching young couples on their way to town, and I thought to myself: “Ah.. young love.” This song tries to capture that exuberance. If the lyrics seem simplistic to you, it’s intentional 😉
I was deeply saddened when I heard of the tragic death of Kerin Peh, the Singaporean bride whose husband mysteriously died on their wedding night in November last year.
On Monday, eight months later, she took her own life. She was only 28.
I teared when I heard the news. It was such a sad ending to their story. She never found out how or why her husband fell to his death from the Hilton Hotel that night. The lack of answers offered her no closure. To imagine the immense pain and loss she must have felt breaks my heart. There is a poignant romance about what happened too… perhaps this was the only path she could take to be with her husband forever.
On Monday night, I felt driven to write a song about her. It is a song about leaving… I hope she’s found what she left this world for, and that the two of them are now reunited. My prayers go out to Kerin, her husband and their families.
She asked herself a million times
How her life came apart at the seams
Why the two of them, what was their crime
She prayed it was an awful dream
It was meant to be her happiest night
She the bride, he the love of her life
Tasted only seconds of joy
He was taken away, her tears ran dry
Chorus
As the shadow of her vacant life
Stood before her with a sharpened knife
She cried, there’s nothing left for me here
I’m sorry, but this is the only way I know
Where he’s gone, I have to go
Flashbacks stuck in her anguished mind
The pills offered no release
Hidden answers she could never find
A heart in pieces longing for peace
It was meant to be her happiest night
She the bride, he the love of her life
Tasted only seconds of joy
He was taken away, her tears ran dry
Chorus
As the shadow of her vacant life
Stood before her with a sharpened knife
She cried, there’s nothing left for me here
I’m sorry, but this is the only way I’ll know
Where he’s gone, I have to go
Will she find what she left us for
Did their souls collide beyond the door
Chorus
As the shadow of her vacant life
Stood before her with a sharpened knife
She cried, there’s nothing left for me here
I’m sorry, but this is the only way I know
Where he’s gone, I have to go
Have you ever had an ex who hurt you so much that you have already planned in your head what you would say to him/her on that fateful day in the future when your paths should ever cross again?
You imagine how good it would feel to make that person realize how wonderful your life is without him/her, how he/she seems to regret leaving you – and how you don’t care about them at all.
They say that living well is the best revenge. How sweet it must taste.
Take back your smile, you don’t mean it
I’m not its captive, and I won’t let you
Captivate me today, no
You see, it’s a different me you’re seeing
In fact it’s because of you, but who’s complaining
And how are you, by the way?
Chorus
As you can see, I’ve never been better
That’s more than
Settled the score and
I’ve moved on, moved on
I’ve moved on, moved on
So you still look at my Facebook page
I’m not surprised, I’ve got tons of pictures
And yes, I’m in great shape too
You’re telling me that you miss me
You just need someone to walk all over, don’t you
I know you too well by now
Chorus
As you can see, I’ve never been better
That’s more than
Settled the score and
I’ve moved on, moved on
I’ve moved on, moved on
Take back all your wishes, they are not mine
And all our history too
Our paths they never were aligned
But this meeting’s long overdue
Now I’ve got a life to go back to
Chorus
As you can see, I’ve never been better
That’s more than
Settled the score and
I’ve moved on, moved on
I’ve moved on, moved on
I’ve moved on, moved on
I’ve moved on, moved on
***
P.S. In answer to the inevitable question: “Who’s this song about, huh?”, my disclaimer is: No one in particular! This is just me putting myself in that situation, imagining how it would feel, and writing a song about it. Simple as that 😉
When we want to recharge our batteries, and we’re too lazy (or broke) to hit a beach resort in Bali, a weekend hotel getaway in Singapore will do just perfectly.
Our hotel of choice? The Conrad Centennial Singapore. We can’t get enough of the rooms, the plush beds, the service, the breakfast buffet… the list goes on. Best of all, they have a special rate for locals on weekends! We’re quite regular guests there, and I must say, we’ve never been let down.
So, since Carol’s birthday was on Sunday, I decided to surprise her with a weekend at the Conrad. It was some much-needed chill time for us, and it turned out great.
After checking in on Saturday afternoon, we headed straight to the hotel spa for a 2-hour massage. Heavenly! Then, we had a simple dinner at Suntec just next door. And when we got back to the room, Carol’s birthday cake (compliments of the hotel) was waiting for us! It was a deliciously-sinful chocolate hazelnut cake, pictured below. It was delightfully creamy and had a crunchy wafer base. Yes, I know it says “Happy Anniversary”, but who’s complaining?
We checked out the next afternoon, and Carol went to Chinatown Point to do her eyelash extensions. She claims her eyes feel naked without them!
Anyway, the next part of the surprise was dinner at her Grandma’s. I know Carol treasures time spent with family, so I got them involved. Carol didn’t know that I’d asked her mum to bring a cake over.
It turned out to be a double celebration because Carol’s and her cousin Melvyn’s birthdays are just days apart. The whole family was there, Grandma cooked up a feast, and we had two cakes at the end. Lovely!
More pictures below:
Carol, her Grandma, and Kooshie the cat, who was dragged away from a nap specially for this.
Carol and Melvyn, the birthday cousins.
Carol gives a killer smile with her brand new eyelashes – over her brand new wallet, a pressie from her aunt.
This week’s song is about a guy who on the outside has a really great life. On the inside however, he is an empty shell. He can’t find any joy in what he has. To everyone else, he seems like he has it all, but he’s really hiding his true feelings.
A commonly-held belief about men is that they find it difficult to express their innermost feelings, for fear of appearing weak and vulnerable. While I think this is a generalization, I’d like to add that this song isn’t based on any one person, but on a collection of people I know.
He’s 28 though he feels a lot older
Blames it on too much beer and cigarettes
He started because everyone was doing it
And he’s forgotten why
He likes happy hour conversations
They drown out all his useless thoughts
He watches football to have something to talk about
He really doesn’t care
Chorus
To everyone else he is happy
Still he feels out of place
An imposter
Sticking out like a pimple on a teenager’s face
But he hides it pretty well
Said he hides it pretty well
Alcohol dulls his borderline depression
His job pays but doesn’t satisfy
He lives out his secret fantasies online
Disgusts himself each time
He has a girl he doesn’t care that much about
But he’s afraid of being alone
He isn’t sure where he wants to go with her
She doesn’t know
Chorus
To everyone else he is happy
Still he feels out of place
An imposter
Sticking out like a pimple on a teenager’s face
But he hides it pretty well
Said he hides it pretty well
Until he finds his calling
Until he finds his place
He’ll float like a dead log the rest of his life
A smiling wooden mask over his face
But he hides it pretty well
Said he hides it pretty well
Chorus
To everyone else he is happy
Still he feels out of place
An imposter
Sticking out like a pimple on a teenager’s face
But he hides it pretty well
Said he hides it pretty well
***
P.S. I’m feeling much, much better now. Thanks to all those who asked. I’m really looking forward to this weekend! Carol’s birthday is on Sunday and I’ve planned something special for her 🙂 That’s all I’m gonna say. Till next week!
I’m writing this post with a fever, sore throat, cough and running nose – so I’ll keep it short. Been sick since Friday… I think it must be all the late-night World Cup matches.
We’ve Got All Day is meant to be a feel-good song. You know the feeling of just wanting to get away from the routines of life? This song is about that.
When she heard it, Carol said to me: “This song is so unlike you. You’re always saying we DON’T have all day.” Point taken.
Lyrics below. Apologies if I sound congested. I am. But hey, week 7’s done!
Thankfully, my swollen eye subsided a little today and I managed to record this week’s song this evening. Yup, Sunday night is the absolute latest to upload my song for the week, and I just made it. Phew!
It’s been a loooooong week. The 13:34 musical on Thursday night was a blast, but it was tiring no doubt with all the rehearsals. Plus my eye infection didn’t help much. On Saturday, we took our cat Kooshie to the vet to be sterilized, and the poor boy has been limp and feverish all weekend. It’s quite worrying, not to mention heartbreaking, to see him like this. He’s lying beside me right now with a plastic cone round his neck, looking very pathetic.
Anyway, with everything going on this week, it’s a miracle I managed to finish the song at all. I actually wrote it on Tuesday because I knew I’d be busy with rehearsals after that. I would’ve recorded the video on Friday, like I usually do, but I decided to give my eye a rest and do it tonight instead. Everything worked out fine, thank goodness.
This Unfinished Song is literally about songwriting. It’s tongue-in-cheek of course, but I think fellow songwriters might be able to identify with it. It is about the challenges I face as a songwriter in finding my “muse”, so to speak.
Sometimes, inspiration leaves you high and dry and I can sit all day with my guitar and come up with nothing. Then the next day, all of a sudden, something hits me and a new song is born in 20 minutes. The process of creation, the spark of inspiration when an idea pops up in your mind, exploring different melodies until something sounds right – that’s why I love songwriting.
I sat down with pen and paper
To write a letter to my muse
For she seemed to have deserted me
And left me all confused
My guitar won’t give me a tune, I said
Stop running, I implored
But the notes kept playing hide and seek
They wouldn’t form a chord
Chorus
I thought maybe it’s not meant to be
Maybe I just don’t belong
I guess I’ll just move on
From this unfinished song
With a silence ringing in my head
And a hollow in my chest
I tried to be like Dylan
And find something to protest
But my angst has come and gone
And so have all my rhymes
Synonyms and conjugations
Have escaped my mind
Chorus
I thought maybe it’s not meant to be
Maybe I don’t belong
I guess I’ll just have move on
From this unfinished song
Where are you?
What am I supposed to do?
So I looked for inspiration
I tried to improvise
Movies, posters, advertisements
Were all a bunch of lies
I picked up the papers
They were full of hate
And I flipped through the Bible
But I couldn’t find the faith
Chorus
I thought maybe it’s not meant to be
Maybe I don’t belong
I guess I’ll just have to move on
From this unfinished song
Maybe it’s best to move on
From this unfinished song
***
P.S. I’d like to leave everyone with a quote from American author Jack London, which I find very meaningful in my songwriting journey: “You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” How true.
Yes, that’s the number of trips my dad has made to the blood bank his entire life to give the precious gift of life. He was honoured this morning with the “Champion Of Champions” title at an awards ceremony, along with others who have made a significant number of blood donations.
My dad’s 72 and can no longer continue to give blood because of his age, but I can tell he was proud to have made that milestone. I’m proud of him too. Love you, dad.
P.S. I know I’ve not posted this week’s song yet. It’s written, but I’ve got an eye infection which has swelled up my left eyelid terribly. I’m hoping it’ll subside by tomorrow so I can record the video. Stay tuned!
Marcel Lee Pereira, singer-songwriter 